a continuing story of trust, grace and community

Tag: rest

I Need You More Than Ever

I’m sitting in Starbucks early this morning with a worship playlist in my headphones. But I am not worshiping…I am writing emails…I am checking out Facebook…I am updating my calendar.

And then…

A lyric breaks through the melodic noise to capture my attention.

Be my heart’s obsession
First and only in my life
In your love alone 
My soul is satisfied

And a peace and a resignation and a redirection of my thoughts overtake me. It’s as if every tense muscle just melts.

Here are more of the lyrics

I will abide
Be still and know that you are God
For you are mine
And in your presence I’m alive
Here in this place
Within your shadow I am safe
Every mistake
Fading into the light of grace

I need you more
I need you more than ever

It’s so difficult to to live in that space and so easy to dwell in the humdrum of meaningless activity.

My prayer – Lord help me to ABIDE in you. Even when I am doing the everyday activities of life, may I ABIDE! I need YOU more than ever.

Song info: First and Only by Elevation Worship.

satisfied

satisˌfīd

adjective, contented; pleased: satisfied customers | she was very satisfied with the results.

As I finished my 10K and Half Marathon, I felt “satisfied.”   Not proud, not elated.  Satisfied.  Throughout the run I felt many things – pain, exhaustion, thrill, “this is cool!”, joy.  But in the end it was satisfaction that won out.

 

Crossing the finish line of my first half marathon

Crossing the finish line of my first half marathon

Thousands of runners surrounded me those warm mornings in August, each with their own stories and reasons for running.  Some, I am sure who just love running and the events, driven by the endorphins.  Some though had personal journeys of overcoming.  I saw a few who wore signs on their backs explaining how earlier in life they could not walk, or they were in chemo, or…  Their stories were of triumph.  Still others were running for a cause, for a sick friend or family member.  In memory of one perhaps.  But we were all running and as we crossed the finish line I hope they each felt the satisfaction I felt.  It was palpable.  I have been pleased before in a job well done, but this was an over-the-top level of “satisfaction.”

Perhaps because of the depth my journey had taken me.  Perhaps because I was so exhausted, I had no energy to muster anything else.  No, I did, and satisfied was the right and full feeling at the moment.

Throughout the run I was amazed at the power of encouragement by total strangers.  Disney had arranged for school marching bands and cheer squads to be all along the route.  The Angels Stadium was seriously full of scout troops, clubs of all kinds, friends of runners, and more.  Hundreds of people brought out their classic cars and lined the miles of the route.  They sat by their cars ringing bells and cheering us.  Occasionally some of the “strangers” would see my name on my bib and say something like, “Good job Len, keep going.”  Others would see the St. Jude singlet I was wearing and thank me for running for that cause.  In all this I found strength to keep going.  And then near the finish line I saw my wife and friends who where there for just for me – their yells and cheers drilled deep.  I became emotional as I got closer, crossing the line I raised my arms in celebration!

This gave me new context for the “great cloud of witnesses” in Hebrews!

Throughout this entire journey I have learned so much about running – this experience in particular about the right salt intake and hydration needed, how to navigate the amount of fellow runners, pacing myself, and more.  I have learned about weight loss and exercise.  I have more importantly learned about resolving my “issues.”

But most of all I have learned and experienced deep spiritual lessons.

Disney had great medals.  It doesn't matter how fast, finishing = winning!

Disney had great medals. It doesn’t matter how fast, finishing = winning!

The imagery throughout the Bible of running the race, finishing well, is so much more real to me.  Metaphors and illustrations make so much more sense when you can relate to them.  I am discovering to greater degree that God satisfies my soul.  That His grace and trusting in Him is “enough.”  That along the run (of life), I will pull a muscle or tire out, but the cheering crowds can bolster me to find the strength to go on and finish…well.

I can with greater confidence and contentment say, “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want.”  I am content, not wanting for anything else.  Satisfied.  Pride, joy, celebration, these are all great feelings when we accomplish a life well lived in God.  But I have discovered the power of being satisfied, and to me that is so much more powerful and fulfilling.

 

Dear Father, I pray for every reader who passes over my words here to know and experience the satisfaction that only you can offer.  You truly are “enough” and may we all come to experience that.  Amen.

 

Your Strength Just Might Be Your Weakness

I have been really running and training a lot lately.  In the gym I am lifting heavy and on the trails I am going far.  I am, as you have read in other posts, been so excited to see just how fit I am becoming.  It’s a great feeling!  But a couple of weeks ago while running, my knee tweaked.  I stopped running at the moment and then took a few days to ice it, care for it.  But it didn’t really seem to be going away.  Admittedly I was inwardly concerned that this might sideline my new passion and I would be out of running, losing all the money invested in registrations and equipment, and worse, reaching my newly set goals.

Jumping ahead a few weeks, still running, my lower back/right hip area was a bit tender.  I just brushed it off as random body aches.  But it got worse, so I went in to see my chiropractor.  Post adjustment, I felt great and went out to run…my longest run to date.  I did a complete half marathon in training!  FELT GREAT!  The entire rest of the day I was wonderful.  But morning came and my back was so bad I could barely get out of bed.  Now I have been icing it and visiting the chiropractor.

Thankfully both knee and back are on the mend!  And it happened through something I found to be revolutionary!  Stretching!  (DUH!) I in fact had not “injured” anything.  I got too strong, worked some muscles too tightly, and let them pull my body out of whack.  The knee pain almost left entirely when my trainer helped me to identify a hamstring that needed to be stretched out.  What a relief both of pain and hope for future goals.

The back is a current malady and I am still working on it, but again, my trainer helped me to see that all my squats and dead lifts were strengthening my lower back and running was strengthening my thighs.  Both are good things and sound great.  I am getting strong.  But something called a hip flexor was getting tight and combined with my lower back muscles tightening they both were pulling my pelvis forward causing a misalignment.  He showed me a series of stretches and again, I found immediate relief.  This one is a bit more settled in so the stretching regimen will take a bit more time.  

But a lesson learned.  Getting strong is not enough!  Packing on the miles, racking up the weight, doesn’t cut it.  One has to slow down and stretch out.  We all hear about stretching, but so many, myself included, don’t give it the place it deserves.  We take short cuts, doing just a few quick ones, but the goal is to get right to the run or the weights.

So why am I taking time writing about this?  Because I saw spiritual life parallels.  

I find in my own life and have observed in many others that we have some transformational experience and it’s exciting.  We ride the wave of the new feeling, changes, and generally go forward in our new found life with confidence.  We should!  God has brought healing or new awareness, or a lingering sin issue has finally been overcome.  That is what God does in us.  And again, it feels great!

But then some twinge of pain happens and we get discouraged or we get sidelined with some sort of “fall” through destructive choices.  What do we do?  Well some, give up.  Just as in running or another sport, saying the injury took them out.  Others gut through it, still working on getting strong and ignoring the pain, the signals telling them something is wrong and should be adjusted.

I suggest a third option.  Taking to time to stretch out.  Sometimes our getting too strong too fast throws our body out of whack.  Spiritually we seek or let ourselves ascend to areas of leadership too quickly.  We get over confident in “our” ability and become self-deluded.  We do as so many in the fitness area do, we take short cuts.  We don’t take time to do the full stretch routine.  We fail to recognize it’s vital part of the process.  What is the “stretching” part of our spiritual life in my illustration?  Resting, delighting, meditating.  I am a charge ahead doer.  I recognize and relate to Christ on the go.  I see and feel Him work through me and in me as I serve and do my tasks.  BUT that doesn’t negate the necessity of slowing down and resting in Him too.  I need to not just work the muscles of faith, but stretch them out so they don’t get out of balance.

Too many seemingly strong people of faith have crashed and burned I think for this very reason.

I don’t want to overplay my spiritual application of this illustration.  But I clearly had this aha today and wanted to pass it on.  On the physical fitness track, be mindful, build and strengthen, but don’t get wound too tight.  Listen to your body and discern if the pains are the good ones from building strength or the signals to slow down and pay attention to some other needs.

Trust in the Lord and do good.
Then you will live safely in the land and prosper.
Take delight in the Lord,
and he will give you your heart’s desires.
Commit everything you do to the Lord.
Trust him, and he will help you.
He will make your innocence radiate like the dawn,
and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun.
Be still in the presence of the Lord,
and wait patiently for him to act.

Psalm 37:3-7a (NLT)

My life-passage here reminds me to wait on Him to act.  It’s hard to be still when you’re feeling so strong and fit.  There are times to charge ahead, to take the land, to get caught up in the “overcoming”.  But don’t neglect the Delighting, Trusting, and Being Still.  Our spiritual growth, just like our physical is a holistic and multifaceted endeavor.

This is a hard but necessary lesson I come back to all the time!  I suspect I am not alone.  

 

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TCunuL58odQ&w=560&h=315]

These past couple of days I am enjoying the song How He Loves and it’s amazing lyrics.

“When all of a sudden I am unaware of these afflictions
Eclipsed by glory and I realize just how beautiful You are
And how great Your affections are for me

And oh, how He loves us, oh
Oh, how He loves us, how He loves us all”

What an amazing statement! To become unaware of our afflictions because they are eclipsed by the glory of God. What a beautiful reality to live in. What a beautiful way to say it. I am reminded of the old chorus, “turn you eyes upon Jesus…and all these things will grow strangely dim in light of His glory and grace”.

We (I) need to continually make God bigger in my view. To allow myself to focus more on Him. So much energy is spent on trial/sin/affliction management; fear, worry, fret, solutions, and frankly even telling ourselves we need to see God more and then running to the Bible for the fix. There is a franticness even in trying to see God.

But God calls us to just…rest. We don’t need to drum up His action. He already has accomplished it and it is there for us. We need to dwell, rest, delight and abide. Much different mood or tone with those words that are used all throughout scripture to describe the way to approach our Father.

The song continues,
“Drawn to redemption by the grace in His eyes
If His grace is an ocean, we’re all sinking”

I imagine those slow motion scenes where a person is falling backwards into the water and you see it just engulf them and then the shot takes you under the water where you see the silhouette floating down with the light rays behind. That moment of complete surrender and yielding. No fighting or struggling. Just a resignation. Of course we are not drowning, but we are dying to self. Drawn to the absolute grace. No more effort to maintain our image. No more struggle to become good enough. Just grace!

“I don’t have time to maintain these regrets
When I think about the way

Oh, how He loves us, oh
Oh, how He loves us, how He loves all”

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